The BMW Santa Would Really Drive in 2025

The sleigh has executed its job for hundreds of years. It’s iconic, it’s timeless, and it’s most likely the one automobile on Earth that may declare “chimney entry” as a core function. However each December, there’s a second—normally proper across the time the elves begin stress-baking gingerbread prefer it’s a coping mechanism—when actuality faucets Santa on the shoulder and says, gently however firmly, “You may want a backup plan.”

This yr, that second occurs in a workshop on the fringe of the North Pole (Arjeplog involves thoughts) , the place the sleigh is up on a elevate and a mechanic elf is making the kind of face you solely make whenever you’ve simply found an issue that comes with the phrases “structural” and “seasonal” in the identical sentence.

Santa tries to maintain it gentle. He all the time does. He cracks a joke in regards to the sleigh “nonetheless feeling tight,” despite the fact that it’s squeaking like an outdated door in a haunted home. The elf doesn’t snort. As an alternative, he factors to a clipboard and begins studying off the well mannered model of the reality: the runners are worn, the steering is obscure, the brakes are mainly wishful considering, and the reindeer have reached the purpose the place they’re asking whether or not “additional time” is an precise idea or simply one other Christmas delusion.

Santa sighs. “So what do you advocate?” The elf smiles, as a result of he’s been ready all yr to say it.

“BMW.”

The Non-Negotiable: xDrive

Not a traditional, both. Not a nostalgia choose. Not one thing that seems like thunder and pronounces itself to each sleeping little one and each suspicious neighbor with a doorbell digital camera. If Santa goes to do that correctly in 2025, he wants one thing quiet, trendy, quick in the way in which that feels easy, and competent in climate that swings from Arctic ice to Florida rain inside the similar hour.

He wants xDrive. It’s non-negotiable. Santa’s route isn’t one street, it’s each street. It’s the slick driveway that by no means will get shoveled, the cul-de-sac polished to a shine by freezing rain, and the mountain village the place the snowplow is a rumor handed down from technology to technology. Rudolph can nonetheless lead, in fact, as a result of custom issues, however even Rudolph deserves a yr the place his job is navigation, not pulling.

The Decide for 2025: The New BMW iX3

And that’s how Santa leads to the motive force’s seat of the new BMW iX3.

It’s the sort of alternative that is smart the second you cease considering prefer it’s 1997. The iX3 is an SUV, which suggests it suits the job description earlier than you even get to the tech. It has the stance, the practicality, the “I can do that all day” vitality. But it surely’s additionally the primary huge style of BMW’s Neue Klasse period, which suggests it comes with that refined feeling of entering into the following decade earlier than everybody else has even discovered the important thing.

Why Electrical, Not Combustion?

Now, the apparent query is the one Santa’s traditionalists would ask first: why the iX3 and never a combustion-powered automobile? Why not one thing with a giant, hearty engine word that seems like a Christmas choir warming up?

As a result of Santa doesn’t want noise. He wants float.

Drive the brand new iX3 and also you get that uncanny sensation EVs achieve this nicely—easy, clean, and quietly fast, just like the automobile is skating over the floor of the world reasonably than trudging by way of it. That’s the closest factor a contemporary automobile can provide to the way in which a sleigh feels when it’s doing what it’s alleged to do: gliding with ease, unbothered by the chaos under, making pace really feel like magic as an alternative of effort. A combustion automobile may be thrilling, certain, but it surely’s additionally busy. It vibrates, it chatters, it all the time feels prefer it’s working. The iX3 feels prefer it’s merely… shifting, as if the legal guidelines of friction are non-obligatory whenever you’ve bought prompt torque and clean energy supply in your facet.

It’s additionally the sort of pace that doesn’t wake the infant, doesn’t spook the canine, and doesn’t set off the neighbor who hears a faint noise and instantly checks the safety feed. In that sense, an electrical SUV isn’t simply logical. It’s nearly poetic. Santa has all the time been a stealth operator. The sleigh bells are nice for the flicks, however in case you’re attempting to maneuver by way of the world unnoticed, silence is the actual superpower.

The Santa Take a look at: House for the Bag

The opposite factor Santa wants is house, and never the obscure, advertising and marketing sort of house the place producers inform you a suitcase suits completely in case you rotate it thrice and take away the wheels. Santa wants precise usable room, the kind of cargo space that doesn’t flinch whenever you throw in a sack that seems to comprise the stock of a whole toy retailer. The sort of house that may swallow oddly formed packing containers, last-minute items, and no matter unusual “simply in case” gear the elves insist on bringing alongside as a result of somebody watched a survival video as soon as and now no person feels protected and not using a backup plan.

Positive, an iX5 or iX7 could be higher, however Santa nonetheless wants to attend a number of extra years for that.

Pit Stops, Not Gasoline Stops

Then there’s charging, which is the place Santa’s schedule begins to resemble motorsport greater than vacation custom. Santa doesn’t do lengthy stops. He does pit stops. A second right here, a second there, simply sufficient time to inhale two cookies, nod respectfully on the milk, and disappear once more like a caffeinated ghost. The concept of losing time at a gas station has by no means match the mythology. Charging that feels fast and purposeful does.

A Cabin That Helps, Not One That Calls for

Inside, the iX3 is the sort of place Santa can truly work. Not within the “I’m replying to emails” means, however within the “this evening is lengthy and my again just isn’t made from reindeer leather-based” means. Santa doesn’t want a cockpit that calls for a tutorial at 2 a.m. He wants consolation that retains him contemporary, a cabin that stays calm when the world exterior seems like a snowstorm simulator, and tech that helps the mission reasonably than turning the mission right into a consumer interface. And that Panoramic Show and navigation may assist him be much more environment friendly together with his deliveries.

In the long run, the funniest half is that none of this seems like Santa betraying custom. It seems like Santa doing what he’s all the time executed: adapting, quietly, to maintain the operation working. The sleigh isn’t useless. It’s seasonal. It’ll be again, polished and proud, the second the elves end no matter restore course of they insist is “undoubtedly inside spec.” However for 2025, when the world is noisier, cameras are in every single place, and the climate is extra unpredictable than ever, Santa’s backup plan must be one thing that feels trendy with out dropping the magic.

So sure, this yr Santa trades the sleigh for a BMW.

He drives the iX3.

Rudolph nonetheless leads, in fact.

He simply doesn’t have to tug.